So, you want to have the cake and eat it too, huh! Just kidding! While it is important to practice safe sex, it is equally important to have sex in “safe period” to avoid an unplanned pregnancy. Usually the contraceptive burden or the burden of calculating safe period for sex falls on the woman.

Ladies, never ever, ever, underestimate the power of sperm… a small drop of semen on the end of a man’s penis carries enough sperm to fertilise all the women in Delhi, Mumbai, Bangalore and Chennai combined! If you are not a nerd, then that is around 18 million babies!

Many female contraceptives are available in the market along with male and female condoms (yes, there are female condoms as well), but sometimes they just don’t suit your situation, or you just like it raw! 🙂 Well, to each their own! Jab miya biwi rasi…toh kya karega sex nazi! Sorry for the pathetic joke! Moving on…

Well, since I am a new mommy, I have to say all this so please bear with me.

Below 18? Too young, too young, too young, too young…….don’t do it. Period

If you are a young person below 18 years and reading this blog…..please, please I beg you don’t have sex before talking it out with your parents. They would want to know and help. If you think you had it tough, well think again, because atleast your parents would be ready to discuss sex with you. For our generation, we had not even heard the s word till the internet came along. Please don’t have sex at this age. If someone is pressuring you into it, please tell your parents or teachers at once.

18 and gunning for it

So, you are above 18? So, what? Do yourself a favor and still talk it out with your parents. They should always know that you have chosen to be sexually active. Pre-marital sex is more openly spoken about now, in India. Personally, I don’t have a problem with it, for if I did, I would be a hypocrite. 🙂 But, most parents are hypocrites when it comes to their children, and I sure hope I don’t turn into one later!

Ok so now to you, married aunty! 😛

You for one have society’s stamp of approval to get on with it! But you don’t want the bundle of joy that comes with sex, am I right? Aren’t you tired of all the stupid questions of “good news”? How do you avoid them, do tell?!?

Jokes over! To business…

Short Answer: If you are having unprotected sex, you can get pregnant. If you have a very regular menstrual cycle of 28 days, you are indeed very lucky. For you 7 days before your period and 7 days right after your period ends is mostly considered unfertile period or “safe” period. If you have irregular or fluctuating periods the first 4-5 days after period gets over is “safe”. Even the last 4-5 days before menstruating begins is considered “safe”. These “safe” days can fluctuate depending on a woman’s hormones and change in diet. So you have been warned, but choice is ultimately yours.

Long Answer

Calculating Safe Period to have unprotected Sex:

A menstrual cycle is calculated from the first day of your period to the first day of the next period. Safe period is from day 1 to 7 and day 21 to the rest of the cycle, when you can have sex without worrying about getting pregnant.

This period will not be the same for all women as it depends on the length of the menstrual cycle. The average menstrual cycle is 28 days or a little less, but if your cycle is longer than 28 days, the safe period is not reliable.

No good thing in life comes without reading! Remember your parents saying this? Well, it’s true in this case as well! Just stick with me till the end and you will understand how to have unprotected sex in the safe period.

Woman’s Menstrual Cycle

Understanding the three stages of a woman’s menstrual cycle could help prevent an unwanted pregnancy. The menstrual cycle on an average should be 28 days. The first day that you bleed is considered the first day of your menstrual cycle. It can be divided into 3 phases.

• pre-ovulatory,
• ovulation,
• post-ovulatory or the luteal phase,

The Pre-Ovulatory Phase:

Days 2 till Day 14 is the pre-ovulatory phase. Your body is releasing hormones that stimulate the eggs to grow. These hormones also begin to prepare your womb or uterus just in case you get pregnant. The disgusting thick blood clots that you bleed during your periods come from this only.

The Ovulation Phase:

As the name suggests, you begin to ovulate or release an egg! Don’t you feel like a hen? J This is the fertile period where a woman can become pregnant. It doesn’t last more than 2 days.

The Post Ovulatory:

This last phase can be anywhere between 10 to 16 days, average being 14 days. Two things can happen. If you were having sex, you could be pregnant. Or lucky you – the next menstrual cycle begins! What a relief to see those blood spots, especially if you were being naughty! For an average woman cycle should be 28 days. Here, ovulation will occur on the 14th day. For a woman whose cycle is anywhere between 26 to 32 days, ovulation can occur between the 12th and 19th day.

How sperms impact a woman’s fertility

Infertility period depends on the life of both a woman’s egg and a man’s sperm.

Your egg can remain alive for only 24 hours, and if the fertilization does not happen, it dies. A sperm can remain alive for 3 to 5 days inside a woman’s body. So, even if you had sex five days before ovulation, you could still get pregnant.

Will this safe period calculator method to avoid pregnancy work for you?

• If your menstrual cycle is less than 26 days or longer than 32 days, this safe period calculator method will not work for you.
• If you have just given birth, this method can work only after you have had six regular menstrual cycles.
• Young Teenagers and women nearing menopause have hormonal fluctuations. This method will not work properly for them.
• Women suffering from PCOS or Polycystic ovary syndrome. It is a hormonal disorder which causes fluctuation in the dates of the menstrual cycle.

The expected failure rate of this method is about 3 to 4% per annum.

Abstaining from sex is the best way to avoid pregnancy! But our body has its own requirements and dil hain ki manta nahi! So here are some more ways to calculate safe period to have sex.

More ways to calculate safe period to have sex

Fertility awareness methods are based on how aware you are of your body. Based on the hormones being secreted, your body sends you certain signs. If you become “aware” of them, you will be able to predict safe and unsafe days to have sex.

Base Body Temperature: Track you body temperature every day. The day you ovulate, usually there will be a rise in temperature.

Sexual Cravings: A woman’s instinct is a real thing and nature is very much responsible for it. When you ovulate, nature tries to nudge you to have sex. So, if you listen to your body carefully, if it tells you that you need a good roll in the sack- you are ovulating! Not applicable for nymphomaniacs! J

Mucus discharge: I know yucky! Why are even talking about it?Well, that’s because your vaginal discharge will change the day you ovulate. so, check your panties carefully!

Sympto-Thermal Method: Now, I am going all sciency on you! This method is well, a combination of all the above! Track your basal body temp, vaginal mucus, abdominal heaviness and breast tenderness and voila! You will know your safe and unsafe days for getting pregnant. Are you really going to go through all this trouble, just to have sex! This is mostly for women trying to get pregnant, not the other way round!

All said and done, none of these methods are 100% foolproof! They could fuck you up –and I mean that literally! So, why not try some other safe ways to have sex!

Many couples these days are now resorting to the “pull out” or “withdrawal” method of contraception. Let me tell you –this is the most stupid thing which you can do. Trust me. I have used it – Just ask my one year old son how effective it is! J

If you are relying on a combination of “safe period” and “pull out method” you are cooking up a recipe for disaster. It could work – for a couple of months, years even if you are lucky! But all it needs is one single sperm to make it up the channel and then what???? You are F**Ked!!!

If you are a young girl and your boyfriend is trying to convince you he will pull out, please don’t give into his wishful thinking. Don’t be naïve. You could get pregnant.

On the other hand if you are a young married couple who are of the view that “let’s do this and if we have a baby, then that’s ok!” Then go ahead, enjoy while the going is good! Let me know when to send the congratulations!

Safe ways to have sex with contraceptives:

Condoms

Always treat a penis like a loaded gun! It is dangerous! Protect yourself with a condom! The complaint of a majority of couples is that condoms reduce sexual pleasure. While this is true, you just help it. Condoms are one of the most effective contraceptives, preventing pregnancy about 98 percent of the time.

Cap

A cap is a female contraceptive. It is made of is a silicone cup shaped which can be insert it into your vagina.  A a contraceptive, cap is 92-96%effective in preventing  unplanned pregnancy. Four to eight women out of every 100 could still become pregnant.

Diaphragm

A diaphragm is like a female condom, inserted into the vagina before sex. It covers the cervix so that sperm can’t get into the womb. When used with spermicides they are 86 to 94 percent effective in preventing unplanned pregnancy. The diaphragm should be left in its place for at least six hours after intercourse.

Oral contraceptive aka The Pill

The pill can protect you 99.99% of the times against unplanned pregnancy, but it can’t protect you from sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). You need to take them daily, preferably at the same time. Pills have been known to make you put on weight, and mess with hormones which is why many women don’t like this method. This is also cited as a major reason for causing infertility in young women.

Emergency Contraception or the Day After Pill

This Day After Pill or emergency contraceptive pill should not be confused with Abortion pill. These are two very different things.

This contraceptive method has gained a lot of popularity among urban Indian women. This pill is most effective if taken within 24 to 72 hours of having unprotected sex. The earlier it is taken, the better it works. The problem with this method is that it is grossly misused. Young girls and women have been known to take it upto 4-5 times a day. This messes with their menstrual cycle and also leads to a lot of medical issues. So please, please keep it as a last resort or Plan B –and not as your first choice of contraception.